Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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