I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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