why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
