I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
