You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize