I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
