My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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