he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
