So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
