yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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