508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
