Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
