i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
