So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
