that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
