It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize