I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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