I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
