Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
