did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
