we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
