does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
