they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
