I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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