youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
