come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
