names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
