things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
