how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
