woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
