One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
