i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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