Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
