did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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