I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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