Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
