yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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