just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize