is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Randomize
