My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
