Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
