Please don't use social media to get back at me.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize