youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
The chlamydia really affected his face.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
