So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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