the new term for farting is butt boxing.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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