Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
