He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
