Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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