I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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