I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
