the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
