I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
