when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
