I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
