and next time when you feel me up, do it right
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
