After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
