i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
