so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize