can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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